On the Unbearable Ethereality of Smell. Prolegomena to a Post-Post-Structuralist Ontology of Cream Cheese.

[Fig.1: Philosopher using reason to attain a metaphysical plan of cream cheese.]

Well, we finally made it. Of course, we still need to know how cheesy his day will have been, and we must not fear the ultimate challenge: attempting to smell Willy up close. But what if the information pertaining to his day at work was difficult to obtain, and what if he wiped the stuff off because the smell was too bad? What would we be left with?

I think now would be an appropriate time to look back at the last few days, and look at how far we have come. We should ponder our objectives and ask ourselves: what did we expect from all of this? Just a laugh? Karmic equilibration? Or was it mere lowly revenge? Was it perhaps the smell of cheese itself? And does revenge necessarily smell like cream cheese?

In a sense, the essential has been done, now that we know Willy has been cheesed. We can indulge in knowing this. But is that enough?

And if it's not, what sound epistemological principles will we follow in deducing the consequences of the cheese having been applied to his armpits? As a famous philosopher once put it: if a douchebag smells like cheese, but no one is there to smell the douchebag, does the douchebag smell at all?

The difficulty here is of course that smell remains somewhat intangible, and cannot be reproduced or transmitted over the interwebs. I could of course take pictures of Willy coming in from work, for what that would be worth, or I could try to get all Patrick Süskind on you and try to describe the smell for 10 pages.

For now though, I leave you with these thoughts, and will begin by attempting to call Willy at work to try to extract some information on his smell, however difficult that may be.

In conclusion, my friends, I believe whatever feedback we can obtain today, we should keep one very important thing in mind: today is only the beginning.

There is still cheese in the stick.